'Methinks I Likey...' or 'She Makes Me Smile Like Julia Roberts'

So my would-be date fell through but over the weekend she invited me to stop by and hang at her parents' house while she finished some work (she had to be up early and I had a friend's houseparty to go to afterward in the area). Not really a date. Maybe back in high school it would've counted- locked in some girl's bedroom, late at night while her parents slept soundly next door, lol. (hmm... No, I'm not imagining that at all...)

Not that i did anything REMOTELY close to that in HS, in ANYone's bedroom.

Ha, I'm finally getting to be a regular teenager (10yrs later). I totally chickened out (nothing new). We just spent like 3 hours talking. Which was really great. But I never even sat next to her, I felt SO lame. There is a lot of unspoken etiquette and negotiation involved in chilling in someone's bedroom, lol. If you sit on your bed, are you inviting me to join or are you just comfortable there because its your bed? Is it because I'm sitting on the only chair?

My sister asked me later what we talked about.
I was just like, "You know, whatever. Stuff, high school, work, the spice girls."

She rolled her eyes at me. I'm sure it sounded really inconsequential. It was. But not really. I mean it was actually getting to know someone from the ground up. When was the last time you did that? When was the last time I did that?

This is someone i just struck up a conversation with one day. Not someone I've known for years, or was introduced to via friends. Just a stranger with similar interests. The times we have hung out have been that; talking, getting to know each other and random conversation. A lot of trying to focus. Trying to focus on her words, instead of the color of her eyes. instead of trying to figure our when i should put my hand on the small of her back while talking to her. remembering that Hitch was just a stupid movie, and just because it was on tv tonight doesn't mean I should follow any of its advice. In her room, I was really paying attention but a little voice kept telling me to get up and sit with her, or telling me i should kiss her goodbye later (i did neither. My little voice is so over me).

--
I read this movie review years ago about Runaway Bride or some other RomCom and how we live in such a culture of instant gratification that our heroes and heroines usually get laid in the first act (and spend the rest of the film trying to win someone back) but the writer compared these to great works of the past where the protagonist longed from afar, and the chase was far more subtle. In one film he mentioned, I think the character finally gets a passionate kiss at the end of the film after he has pined away forever. that's it. the big payoff. That just doesn't float with today's audiences. Its not the way we live. or at least not the way we are told that we live.
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I may be chickenshit. I know I have had some opportunities lately i should have just stepped up to. You live, you learn. At the same time, I'm kinda digging the slow burn of this. compared to some of my last escapades, not rushing seems like a pretty rad course of action. I like the feeling of looking forward to the next time i see her. I like not knowing whats gonna happen.

I like telling myself "Ok, for real, youre gonna make a move. Tell her you like her, tell her you had a good time, tell her something. Hell, ask if you can kiss her! But don't walk away wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' that you'd have done something."

This weekends gonna be kinda slow for me, my friends are all out of town. I'm pretty broke. I invited her somewhere kinda last minute but she's got pre-existing commitments. Outlook still seems positive, though. At least I know she's interested (gawd knows I've had trouble reading that before). I'm using the secret/positive-thinking/visualization/whatever you wanna call it. I'm claiming good stuff and making it happen. GITTERDONE!

ever just think to yourself: " i need to get laid"?

A) get laid...

Or

B) Dont test your new speakers by listening to Robin Thicke's album home alone at 2am

with that said, I'm going to turn off the stereo now and go to sleep...

upside, tomorrow I get to see if the surroundsound would be cooler in my bedroom than the livingroom.

carbon dating

Methinks I got a date this week. Sick. I think its the 3rd. I say thinks cuz I didn't realize the first two were dates. Well I kinda knew the last time we went out especially after my friends started teasing, but not the first time we 'hung out'. And I'm the one who did all the inviting so moral of the story, I'm still an idiot. But an idiot with a date.

glad i didnt buy showtime this year

To piggyback everyone on the internet, I was soo disappointed with that finale. I waited like 3 days to watch just putting off the inviteable. And I was kinda there. Being new to actually watching the show these last 2 or 3 seasons vs just reading the recaps, I was still naive about its shortcomings and IFC. I went to a premeire party thrown by showtime and hrc and I was so exited to be enjoying it in the communal aspect, I even cried that first ep when they wheeled jennys body out.

Funny thing that was only about 2 months ago, cuz I flew to the inauguration the next day. Why a season only 8 episodes long. I mean 2 effing months? What does that say to your fans, viewers, even cast and crew?

Sure you've had this monumental impact on the planets and how people look at and treat one another and yet this is how u thank everyone? Slap together some garbage that all turns out INCONSEQUENTIAL to its very core and expect everyone to be ready to hop on over to worshipping your next project that hasn't even been greenlit past a pilot!?

Which will take your happiest bubbliest most relatable (though wildly inconsistent) character and put her in jail. Yeah. Do that. Cuz we wanna see our spirits crushed a little more.

I don't even know how, because this new media age fan/creation interaction is so new, but I hope they revolt. When their shows become something foreign to them, fans have created fanfics and videos and all kinds of alternate sources of happiness and dammint I hope somehow they win.

That IFCs stupid idea that she can get a movie off the ground actually works but maybe instead of another chance to drive a stake in the heart of her show and viewers, I hope some writer with an actual grasp of the characters and story to be told helms it. And I hope the fans love it. Until then we can just delude ourselves with the alternate universes in our head of what happened to these amazing characters. Good luck.

i am utterly useless

What a dork. Back to the workweek. Had a good weekend. Got out the house a bit, yay. Still kicking myself for some jackass moments I pulled throughout the week. I wonder if I suffered from any head trauma at a young age. Seriously. I mean I can start with good intentions. Right? Good intentions. Then I just get distracted or something, I dunno. I just turn into an idiot. Like the synapses just don't fire right and my brain gets the message to do something entirely different. What happened to my whole 'positive thinking/thesecretripoff/visualizing/speaking things into existence" thing that I was doing? I guess I let a little self doubt creep in there lately via work etc. Whatevs. I'll be ok.